The ones where nothing goes quite right but you can't classify it as a bad day because things could be much worse? The days when you sit at the office and think "why am I doing this?" I have zero passion for my job. I know that there are loads of other people who feel the same but why? What is the point? I am a passionate person so it seems silly to spend 40+ hours a week working at a job that does nothing for me, right? I get it now. I've been rolling with the punches for a while now and every time I pull myself onto a plateau of optimism, life seems to do its darndest to shove me back down into the valley of pessimism. I don't want to live in the valley. I want to live in the mountains. So the question becomes, how do I achieve this? I've tried many things now but I've only ended up right back in this place. I'm looking back at posts that say much the same thing as what I'm saying now.
So, I ask myself, what does this say about me?
What does this say about what I'm doing?
I was down for a bit, thinking that I am just doing something wrong. I even thought for a fleeting moment that maybe this is all I will ever have. But, I shut that thought down real quick and realized that these failures were not a result of me being a failure but a result of me refusing to give up. That's the point, isn't it? If I threw in the towel now then I would be a failure but continuing to try new avenues, even if they turn out to be the wrong ones, means that I still have a chance.
I have been in a rut and that is okay. Sometimes I need the rut to remind me to get off my a$$ and fight again. Write again. Move forward again.
And that's the name of the game, isn't it?
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