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And without further ado, the post from Don......
Romance? Who the F**k has Time for That Now?
By Michika Salem (http://hiddeninplainsightranch.tumblr.com)
If Mom and Dad knew I was writing this, they’d kick my ass so hard …
Anyway, today I was asked to write this entry about relationships. I think my title speaks for the general attitude around this place … we’re in the middle of a goddamn war here, who’s got time to hook up when people on all sides of you are trying to kill you? Though y’know, I’ve found around here at the Ranch that a lot of us found ways to make relationships work, despite the odds.
I think we can even go back further than this current crappy situation we’re in on this. Travel back in time with me, kiddies, while I explore a squicky topic for a lot of folks: parents dating! (Yuck!)
I think the best ones to start with are the ones I know best, my own parents. My dad Cyrus and mom Kitty, now there’s an odd couple if you ever saw one. Dad’s a nearly immortal wizard, he’s God knows how old, and on a good day he’s just over two and a half feet tall. Mom was a Navy SEAL, knows her way around more guns than I can even count, and at one point she was turned into every furry otaku’s wet dream, a cat girl. What do they have in common?
For starters they’re both supernaturals, and at least right now that’s the biggest no-no in the New Empire, punishable by persecution and death. Second, they have similar personalities. As much as Dad doesn’t want to admit it, he’s got a temper on him, and sometimes can overreact. Case in point, when his best friend was killed on a mission, Dad blew the assailant’s head off with a magic spell that also wrecked half of the room. Mom’s never been shy about her attitude and her temper; she and her best friend got into a fistfight aboard a submarine once. On top of that, they’re both career soldiers … at least Mom is, Dad’s been a soldier so many times in his life he’s lost track … they both play hellacious chess games, and are really loyal to their friends.
That was all present, even before they were a couple. They wound up on the same team, and now they’re married. I think it has to do with their personalities and their general liking of each other, and not other factors … the fact that Mom breast-fed Dad back to life once, for instance …
Sorry … just threw up in my mouth a little bit at that image. Let’s move on.
My best friend Alanna’s parents, they’re the stars of the story. I think if you looked up “storybook couple” in the dictionary, you’d see their picture, and it’s not just because her dad Cole’s a knight and her mom Ariel’s a dragon. See, you’d think that would create too much friction, and not of the sexy kind. Knights are always trying to kill dragons, after all, and they were no different their first time meeting.
Talk about a misunderstanding. Cole was testing paladin powers he didn’t know about for the first time, and Ariel was distraught because one of her best friends was just killed … and it happened to be Cole’s dad.
They had a couple of arguments, but I think the turning point came when he saved her life, stopping her from killing herself. Oh I should have mentioned that, she tended to be suicidal a lot, and he prevented her from dying once. Alanna is always telling me how her mom talks about her visions, how she knew her dad was the one she was destined to love, but I personally don’t buy it. I’ve never been one to take stock in that stuff, after all.
They went through lots of hell there. They both fought demons, right alongside Mom and Dad, and sometimes the demons did more damage than anyone should be expected to handle. Alanna’s dad nearly died once, trying to stop Armageddon. Literally. Yeah, he got stabbed by a demon knight, but it wound up being Ariel’s love that helped bring him back from the injury.
Now we’re at the present, at the New Empire era, and both of those couples, to my knowledge, are still fairly strong. Mom and Dad bicker from time to time, and even fight occasionally, but deep down they still love each other. Alanna’s parents are missing right now, but I think they still loved each other a lot.
There’s rumblings of sweetness around here now, too. Alanna’s been mooning over a dude that showed up here about a year ago, big Ojibwa guy by the name of William. (I call him Willie just because I know it annoys him!) How it’s possible I don’t know … the government’s trying to kill us every time we turn around, and folks in general hate all supernaturals’ guts, but somehow those two became a couple. When they’re together, they’re inseperable. It’s kinda cute in a way, I guess …
Crap, who am I kidding? Can I tell you something in confidence?
A short time before Willie showed up, we were joined by an honest-to-God prince, Fahaian. He’s cute, charming, cultured … really knows how to treat a lady … on top of that, I think he really likes me …
Uh oh, Mom’s coming. Sorry to cut this short!
(What? I wasn’t doing anything, Mom! You can put the rifle away now …)
Michika Salem, her father Cyrus, her mother Kitty, and family friend William White Bear post from their hiding place on Tumblr at the Hidden-In-Plain-Sight Ranch (http://hiddeninplainsightranch.tumblr.com). Follow the most recent exploits of their ally Alanna Sharpe in Infernal Eighteen, available in paperback and e-book formats at http://phantomsquadronofficial.weebly.com.