Life Balance - when winning a battle means you've lost the war...

With all of our tech tools life should be easier, right? Apps to organize, virtual calendars that allow you to sync with your coworkers, family, and friends, even hands free calling for your car and wifi in almost every public place - we should be the most organized, least stressed people in the world.

But we aren't.

I was giddy when I finally got my workspace in order. After three weeks of dedicated purging, organizing, and reassembling, my house looked amazing. I had to be organized after all, I had a business to start, kids to parent, sports to coach, a job to maintain, a house to maintain, bills to pay - and that's when I realized that my organized house did little to organize my life.

I'd walk you through a typical day but does it matter? Many of you probably have similar situations. Too much to do, too little time. And nothing works with anything else because that would be silly.

Why would Maddox's school musical - that he has to attend - NOT be on the one night of the week that Autumn has softball practice? Because that would be crazy.

It's the same for most parents, methinks. But for us single parents, it's an extra special challenge. We can't splice ourselves and our former other half may not be able - or willing - to be there. Then one parent is left to be two parents. But what happens when you can't be in two places at once?

I keep hearing "kids are resilient." You would not believe how many times I've heard that. People trying to make me feel better about not being able to do everything. I appreciate that said people care enough about me to want to make me feel better, but it doesn't. I still see the disappointment in my kids' faces when I can't do something, when I have to choose to go with one instead of the other. I give them reasons but they don't see the time I spend agonizing over the decision before I even tell them.

But I try to be everywhere, I try to make it work. I've switched jobs and continue to work toward financial stability WITH flexible times so I can be Mom and still support us. I feel like I'm not doing a very good job of either. This is where I realized that I've won the battle of organization - seriously, you should see our "family command center" and my work area is insanely organized if you ignore my smattering of toys and trinkets from the kids - but I'm still losing the war as my life balance is woefully out of whack.

I rarely take time for myself - because I can't afford to in any way, shape, or form. I look at my life and see that I always come last. Kids first, then work and by the time that's all done I've got nothing left. All the while I worry about making ends meet so I find a way to write just one more article because that $5-$15 will help. I have to write a lot of words to make enough to support my family and that takes time. But, I can write at 2am when it's quiet, homework is done, practices are complete, musicals have been attended, laundry and dishes are done and the only thing I missing out on is sleep. Who cares if I'm not sleeping? Exercise? How can I justify walking for half an hour when that means another $30 or so in articles or blog posts? If I have to choose, I choose the money because that's what you do when you're in debt and trying to pay for a place you really can't afford (so your kids can stay in a school system that really works for them) and their activities and supplies and clothes (so they don't feel the impact of how poor you really are). Meanwhile my life is passing by at a startling pace as I approach my 38th birthday and realize that I'm almost 40.  I keep promising myself that I'll take time for me, that I'll get to the point where I can do something simple like curl up in a chair and read for as long as I like with no regrets.

I'm just not there yet.

In the meantime, I'll load up the coffee pot (brew set to extra strength) with Deathwish Coffee, don my ill-fitting mom clothes, and trudge through this battlefield. Maybe if I can win one more battle it will turn the tide of the war.

Who's with me?

Allow me to introduce the lovely, talented Darla Lark

With a new release set for tomorrow, Ms. Lark took time out of her busy schedule to answer a few questions about herself and her books. Be sure to check out her newest release here.

VP: What is your inspiration? What helps you get through writer’s block?

DL: My inspiration comes from some of the crime shows I watch. Since I’m a thriller writer, it helps me when I’m stuck on a scene. I get some ideas from those shows and learn a lot for future books. When I get writer’s block, I write in a journal to figure out why I have it. It helps more often than not and the best way to get to the bottom of the problem.

VP:  Do you listen to music when you write? Have a completely silent space?

DL: I listen to the music on my phone, which I use as an iPod. I’m only glad that I don’t have to fuss over multiple devices. There is this site for writers called SoundFuel. It has a lot of various kinds of music directed for whatever you write (sci-fi, horror, thriller/mystery, etc.) l use this quite a bit when I’m writing something dark. It’s awesome and I highly recommend it for other writers.

VP:  Who inspires you? What authors do you look up to? Why?

DL: My inspiration comes from my grandpa. When I was little, he and I would make up stories together which I regret not writing them down. This inspired my love of writing. I began to write poetry when I was in 6^th grade. Then there’s my husband and mother-in-law who encourage me to keep writing in the times that I feel like giving up. They are amazing.

I look up to Nicholas Sparks because he had gone through a lot growing up and came out stronger. I’ve read Three Weeks With My Brother and felt more of a connection with his books and understand why he writes what he does.

VP: When did you first start writing? What genre do you prefer?

DL: I started writing poetry when I was 7 or 8. Again, this was because of my grandpa. He became my writing buddy, so to speak. Genre wise, I read anything I can get my hands on. When I was in college, I started a YA novel, but as time went on, I became a thriller writer. It was one of those things where I started writing on thing and it turned into another.

VP:  If you had to choose another genre to write, what would it be? Why?

DL: Let’s see. I think I would like to write a horror novel. I love being scared and the unexpected in these type of novels. I enjoy the darkness within these types of books.

VP: What is your favorite book (or who is your favorite author) and why?

DL: To be honest, I don’t have favorite author. I read so many different kinds of books. There is so much talent out there. Everything that I’ve read is amazing so far. I especially love to read self-published authors. They are amazing and I love to show support for them.

VP: Do you have a job and if so what is it?

DL: Yes. I work full-time in a warehouse building pumps and pump accessories. I love what I do. Though I wish I could write full-time. I’m sure that all self-published authors with full-time jobs wish this as well.

VP: Tell about your first book and how long it took you to write the first draft.

DL: My first book is A Life Worth Living. It’s my YA novel. It’s about a girl who’s in her first semester of college when she experiences a lot of hardships. I based it around my grandparents and their personalities. Though it’s not a true story, I wanted to portray the grandparents much like the ones I grew up with. It was a lot of fun to write. It took me 4 years to write it because I was caring for my grandma and great-grandma while working a full-time job.

VP: List all of your titles with a one sentence synopsis of each.

DL: A Life Worth Living: Star is a young woman who is in her first semester of college when she experiences the loss of friends, a sick grandfather, and a tumultuous relationship with her mother.

Lucy’s Suspicions: Lucy is a woman whose husband died in a tragic car accident, but she soon finds out it wasn’t simply a car accident and does a little digging to find the truth.

The Psychopath’s Prisoner: Cheyenne is a woman who went through a divorce from her cheating ex and then she has bad things start happening her: including her car getting set on fire and apartment broken into amongst other things.

VP: Who is your favorite character? Why?

DL: Cheyenne Harrington because she is resilient despite all that has happened to her. She does everything she can to protect her sister and friends for love.

VP: Which character is your least favorite character? Why?

DL: Cheyenne’s new neighbor, Daniel Schindler. He is a creepy jerk. I hate him for being who he is. That’s all I can say without giving away the story plot.

VP: Which character was most difficult to write?

DL: I would say Daniel because I absolutely hated him, but he had to be in it since he was an integral part of the story.

VP: What scenes are most difficult to write?

DL: The crime scenes. I say this because I try to come up with one that is original and nothing like other thrillers. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the crimes scenes. They are so much fun to write.

VP: Do you see yourself in any of your characters?

DL: I see a little of myself in all my characters, both good and evil. I think that all of us authors put a little of ourselves in each of their characters whether they realize it or not. It’s a great thing, though. You get to know things about yourself that you never knew before.

VP: Indie pub or trade pub?

DL: Right now Indie pub. I want to see what I can do on my own. Perhaps someday I can go traditional, but for the time being I’ll enjoy doing the indie thing. There’s so much we can do on our own and it’s rather enjoyable.

VP: What is your favorite scene? Why?

DL: My favorite scene is when Cheyenne fights back against her captor and escapes. Like I mentioned before, she is resilient and determined. My goal is to show how resilient we, as women, can be no matter what challenge is put in front of us in fiction form.

VP: Give a one sentence summary of your new release.

DL: The Psychopath’s Prisoner is a thriller that will keep you guessing until the end as to who did it and why.

VP: If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?

DL: I would love to meet Elvis Presley in person. He had an amazing voice and I’m jealous that my grandpa got to meet him when they served in the army.

VP: If you could take the place of one of your characters, which on would you choose and why?

DL: I would either be Lucy from Lucy’s Suspicions or Cheyenne Harrington. They are strong women who don’t give up. They keep pushing onward and aren’t afraid to face the obstacles in front of them and are very intelligent.

VP: If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go and what would you do?

DL: I would love to go to Italy and try their food and wines. Especially their wine. Nothing better. Of course, I would love to go to Rome and see the Sistine Chapel and the colosseum.

VP: What is your favorite T.V. show/movie from your childhood? What is it now?

DL: When I was little, I loved to watch My Little Ponies and Care Bears. Now I love Sleepy Hollow, which I have to get caught up on this season as of yet.


Make sure you grab a copy of The Psychopath's Prisoner starting tomorrow (just click the title and you are there)!!

Contact info:
Email: darlalarkauthor@yahoo.com
Blog: darlalarkauthor.blogspot.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/darlalarkauthor
Twitter: twitter.com/darlalark
Website:darlalarkauthor.wix.com