Doubts of a
self-publisher
Every few months,
while sitting alone by my eye-burning monitor late at night and typing out word
after word of ideas streaming from my mind, I ask myself 'why'.
Why am I writing
this stuff down? Why do I research so extensively? Who will read the results?
What good will it all do? Will my small group of loyal readers like what I
write? Will anyone understand it? Should I even bother?
As my good friend
Eponymous Rox (author of B.O.T.) wrote
to me once, "With your wily work [Dani], I tend to focus on what's
in parentheses. (I also think you are very misunderstood...and possibly always
have been.)". So true.
Life as a self-publisher is tough, with low sales, few free
downloads, fewer reviews, and less friends replying to your pleas for
assistance as they become more and more irritated with your requests. Saying
this, whatever success you do
achieve is due to them and a handful of your writing peers who acknowledge your
work. And waking up to yet another 'glowing' review or remark from a new
admirer makes your day. To know that you've touched someone's life in a
positive way always brings a little happiness.
But is this
enough? Are the hours of time-consuming finger bashing all worth a smile from a
stranger? Other than spending time writing, I try to live a responsible life as
a husband, lover, father and primary school teacher, but I was never one for
conformity, needing some release from stress and angst - 'Wave of Mutilation'
by the Pixies is my ringtone, though I can never hear it if someone calls - and
so for myself, some form of creativity is a ’must’. I was never any good at
music and my drawing ability stopped at the age of 10, so, writing it is.
But
self-publishing is much more than just writing, it's self-marketing too, something
I never planned for. What makes this part even worse is watching other less
scrupulous and less talented self-publishers get ahead with paid marketing,
tons of sales, reviews and offers coming their way. Congratulations to them,
but they're doing no one any favours, destroying the reputation of
self-publishers with their unedited clones of well-known books and condemning
other writers like myself to the empty depths of Amazon!
...oh, the doubts
of a self-publisher. The days when a writer could hide away and create novels
are gone, unless you're JK Rowling or Dan Brown. Is it now the case that you
need to die to be ’found’, like Larsson? It's a bit extreme, it cuts your
chance of increasing your portfolio by 100%, and it certainly is not foolproof.
So why oh why do
I still write? I guess it could be because that...
·
There
are some people who enjoy my writing, and to imagine that I've just made them
smile once again or allowed them to forget about the troubles in their lives
while reading my work makes me want to write more.
·
It
gives the creative self-destructive side of myself an outlet so that I can
continue to be the responsible person that I am (???) and not watch my life
fall apart around me, like in the old days.
·
There
is still a one inch chance of hope that one day someone somewhere will notice
my work and take it on, put it in the shops for the public to see and sell the
m***** out of it.
...so, I guess
there's one more to finish...
A big thank you
to Violet for allowing me to guest post J
'Dani's Shorts',
'Dani's Shorts 2' and 'TDX2' are available on Smashwords for free.
Dani J Caile's
other ebooks and paperbacks are available on Amazon.
If you'd like to
try 'The Iron Writer' Challenge, visit...
Dani also posts
every now and again on his blog, more so when he’s procrastinating.
'How to build a
castle in seven easy steps' will be available on Amazon soon.
Thanks, Trace! You're a star! :-)
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